Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Ode to Dylan McKay (and all those heartbreaking boys I loved before)...



The girls and I have been binge watching old Beverly Hills, 90210s.

I love, love, love watching shows that meant a lot to me growing up with my girls, and watching them fall in love with characters that I love. Watching them fall in love with Dylan McKay and make fun of how many girls Brandon falls for is such a delight.

I’m kind of anxious to see if I still love Dylan McKay as much as I did when I was 12 years old.

I tend to love emotionally unavailable men, be they fictional or real. But I have learned in the past couple of years to not equate anger with passion, not to crave angst and torment as proof of love.

A few weeks ago, I was reading something and the person said, “I want to be devastated by love.” And I thought how the young me, definitely the me of my teenage years, would have whole heartedly agreed with that statement. I yearned for someone to fall in love with me like a starving person craves water.

There are bits and pieces to my life that won’t ever make any sense, and trying to pin point all of my faults is not the most helpful exercise. But I do know that this new Joy, this grown up Joy, has learned the rather hard way that love is capable of encompassing much more than just the highest of highs and lowest of lows, love can be an easy flow of respect and compassion and trust.

I’m working on it.

Things I love this week:

To All The Boys I Loved Before and P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han

All the hearts. I need to preface this by saying I do not like much Y.A. literature. Every time someone tells me to read the new, hot book, I usually read it and feel like, eh. I seldom jump on a bandwagon that everyone else is on when it comes to books (and yes, I’m a bit snobby about it). But I am completely and totally charmed by these books. I ran to the library last night to get Always and Forever, Lara Jean, which is the final book in this trilogy, and so I can’t give a final verdict.

Lara Jean is modeled on Beth from Little Women, and as a fervent Beth fan, I felt that I had to read these and see what all the fuss was about. I have not been disappointed. Lara Jean is such a genuinely likable character, awkward but well meaning, and I love that this storyline wraps around these boys coming to find just how lovely it can be to fall in love with the nice girl, the quiet girl, the girl who would “like to be at home with my sisters.”

It’s a delight.

Pantsuit Politics

I don’t talk about my own politics on the blog, but I have mentioned this podcast before. I love the nuance that Beth and Sarah bring to their discussions and their dissection of certain events from the past week is a much-needed middle path through a thicket of briars, and one that I came away from having learned something new.

I always tell my mom that we have to love the seasons in their place, and we are so blessed to live where we truly get to experience seasons. So, while I will freely admit that ice scares me when I have to drive somewhere, I do love snow when I am at home with my girls and a good book. I was blessed with both this past weekend.

No comments:

Post a Comment