The very best thing about being a mother of a teenager and an almost teenager is revisiting all of my old favorites-favorite books, favorite movies, favorite television shows. The girls and I live every day basically like it’s about 1995, and it is the complete bomb.
We just wrapped up watching My So-Called Life and it was just what my heart needed entering this 2020. It took a minute for the girls to fall in love, but Rickie was their way in (of course) and by the heart shattering ending they were both as devastated as their mother was upon her first encounter with Angela Chase leaving Brian Krakow on that bike in the road.
Betsy repeatedly asked Felicity and me, “Who would you pick-Brian or Jordan?” If you know my girls at all in real life, then you know that Felicity without hesitation always said Jordan, and Betsy picked Brian every single time, always bemoaning the idea that anyone in the world would have their head turned by Jordan.
My answer every time was, of course, I can’t choose between them. I love Brian Krakow with every beat of my heart, his awkward demeanor only making me adore him more. And then Jordan Catalano reaches for Angela’s hand in the single most romantic gesture I’ve ever encountered in 41 years of watching rom coms and I know, without a doubt, that I would have left Brian behind too. I’ve never encountered a creature as much of a kindred spirit to my own self as Angela Chase. (I watched My So-Called Life on its original run on ABC, I chose it over Friends in its first season, confounding my friends who only discovered it later on MTV.)
Anyway, much as I would love to think that if love ever finds me again, I’ll have the sense to see Brian Krakow for who he truly is, I have a feeling my heart is forever doomed for the Jordan Catalanos of the world.
Things I’m Loving:
Inside Out by Demi Moore
I adore a good memoir and this is one I will carry on about forever. It’s deep and meaningful and honest. Demi is open about each of her marriages and exactly how they came apart at the seams; she is vulnerable about what it feels like to be hurt by someone that you thought loved you more than anything. I’m forever grateful whenever I grab onto anything- a poem, a song, a self help book, whatever- that makes me feel seen, that makes my particular journey seem not so out of the realm.
Marriage Story
Speaking of out of the realm, I purposely avoided this movie for a minute because I knew that it would feel different- the experience of two people wanting out of a marriage and fighting through lawyers, that wasn’t ever my experience- but of course, good movies make you feel for people in situations different than your own. I love Adam Driver and performances like this one are why. As for Scarlett Johansson, she is not and will never be my favorite, but she is a talented actress and it is roles like this one that chip away at my resistance to her.
For now, the girls and I are watching The Torkelsons and falling in love with Riley Roberts and I’m wishing, as always, that this season of our lives would never, ever end.
