Ode to Dylan McKay (and all those heartbreaking boys I loved before)...

The girls and I have been binge watching old Beverly Hills, 90210s.

I love, love, love watching shows that meant a lot to me growing up with my girls, and watching them fall in love with characters that I love. Watching them fall in love with Dylan McKay and make fun of how many girls Brandon falls for is such a delight.

I’m kind of anxious to see if I still love Dylan McKay as much as I did when I was 12 years old.

I tend to love emotionally unavailable men, be they fictional or real. But I have learned in the past couple of years to not equate anger with passion, not to crave angst and torment as proof of love.

A few weeks ago, I was reading something and the person said, “I want to be devastated by love.” And I thought how the young me, definitely the me of my teenage years, would have whole heartedly agreed with that statement. I yearned for someone to fall in love with me like a starving person craves water.

There are bits and pieces to my life that won’t ever make any sense, and trying to pin point all of my faults is not the most helpful exercise. But I do know that this new Joy, this grown up Joy, has learned the rather hard way that love is capable of encompassing much more than just the highest of highs and lowest of lows, love can be an easy flow of respect and compassion and trust.

I’m working on it.

Things I love this week:

To All The Boys I Loved Before and P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han

All the hearts. I need to preface this by saying I do not like much Y.A. literature. Every time someone tells me to read the new, hot book, I usually read it and feel like, eh. I seldom jump on a bandwagon that everyone else is on when it comes to books (and yes, I’m a bit snobby about it). But I am completely and totally charmed by these books. I ran to the library last night to get Always and Forever, Lara Jean, which is the final book in this trilogy, and so I can’t give a final verdict.

Lara Jean is modeled on Beth from Little Women, and as a fervent Beth fan, I felt that I had to read these and see what all the fuss was about. I have not been disappointed. Lara Jean is such a genuinely likable character, awkward but well meaning, and I love that this storyline wraps around these boys coming to find just how lovely it can be to fall in love with the nice girl, the quiet girl, the girl who would “like to be at home with my sisters.”

It’s a delight.

Pantsuit Politics

I don’t talk about my own politics on the blog, but I have mentioned this podcast before. I love the nuance that Beth and Sarah bring to their discussions and their dissection of certain events from the past week is a much-needed middle path through a thicket of briars, and one that I came away from having learned something new.

I always tell my mom that we have to love the seasons in their place, and we are so blessed to live where we truly get to experience seasons. So, while I will freely admit that ice scares me when I have to drive somewhere, I do love snow when I am at home with my girls and a good book. I was blessed with both this past weekend.

Winter Wonderland...

So, in my last blog post, I was all about how time stands still when my girls are gone.

This week, life has returned to normal at a breakneck speed.

The girls and I took down Christmas for 5 hours on Sunday. I loved having Christmas up for that extra week, because I love Christmas so very much, but it was most exhausting. The girls still like to make our Winter Solstice tree out of the real tree-basically, we take the tree outside and put fruit with peanut butter and birdseed on it. We also had our Epiphany celebration, culminating in our Wise Men figurines making it to the stable. We blessed the house and had our Epiphany cake.

(When Betsy was five years old, we were walking around, blessing the house, Nick carrying the incense with his normal, ‘Why did I have to marry this crazy lady?’ look on his face, and Felicity was just little still, so I was carrying her, and Betsy looked at me with complete sincerity and said, “Mommy, why do we do weird things like this?” It remains one of my very most treasured memories.)

This week has been full of time spent with good friends, a much-needed hair appointment, Math Club for Betsy and dance for Felicity, small group...which makes my heart so happy, but makes my body so very, very tired.

This particular life I lead- it can easily feel overwhelming. When the girls are home, we want to do so many things. We have gotten away from doing all the things but we want to spend time with friends, watch all the movies, read all the books (maybe that one is just me).

Things I love this week:

What Should I Read Next? Episode 165: 1000 Books to Read Before You Die

Normally I don't love lists like this, because there are so many books to read, way more than 1000, and many that are hardly classic literature. But this discussion was just amazing and I couldn't get enough.

The Christmas Sisters by Sarah Morgan

Such a delightful read in the week after Christmas about 3 sisters trying to sort out their lives at their family home in Scotland. Nothing life changing, but a lovely read, especially with a cup of hot chocolate in the light of my Christmas tree.

I'm so looking forward to being snowed in this weekend- the girls and I are watching all the Disney movies in chronological order (my favorite way), we have managed some sledding, and I have an overdue library book to finish.

Life is pretty grand.