This year of being brave has been a bit life changing-yes, doing the brave things has (mostly) been super fun and eye opening. I’ve managed to try some new things and be kinder to myself if I mess up because, after all, being brave is about taking a risk.
The girls and I have learned to be brave together. Which I highly recommend, because nothing makes you braver, truly, than being the only adult in a situation and so you just have to act like, oh, I got this.
We have also let go of several things in this past year, and the result has been (to me at least) a bit surprising. I have always prided myself on being the mom that does all the things. So, somewhat naturally, this lent itself to kids who did all the things.
I want to preface this entire post with this: I truly admire everyone out there who is volunteering their time and energy to all the things. The years that I spent as the room mom, the Sunday School teacher, the Girl Scout leader, the Cloverbud advisor, all of it-they are some of the best memories of my life. In no way at all do I want to suggest that people out there who graciously give of their time should feel that I’m dogging on them.
But this past year, the girls and I have shed a lot of activities. We have purposely curated a schedule filled with only the activities that are bringing us joy. And this has led to more fun than I quite imagined.
When life first flipped upside down for me, my instinct was to insist that nothing change in the girls’ life. That they would keep all of their activities and that I would just somehow manage (with, of course, help from my parents). They had done nothing to cause this eruption in our lives, and I was bound that they not feel that they were missing out.
So, we tried to keep up. We continued to do all the things. I did have to cry uncle at physically being in charge of so many things, but as far as the girls’ schedules, they were as full as ever.
But what I have come to realize is that, for us, doing all the things is just not what we need anymore.
This past year, we have said goodbye to several activities that we enjoyed at one time, but that were just draining us anymore. And, just like when you clean out a closet and only keep the clothes that you actually want to wear, when you clear your schedule of all the things that you are doing just because you think you should be doing it, and instead only concentrate on the one or two activities that you truly want to be doing, you find that you are enjoying life more.
Or at least we are.
This new schedule allows us to have down time, for each of us to be alone for a bit each day, which we all need. It allows us to have game nights and to watch movies and spend time together at the end of a long day. For us, it’s lovely.
The thing is, our lives are different than they would have been if life had not been interrupted three years ago. And part of making peace with that reality is accepting that we are all three just a little bit changed-we all three need each other in a little bit different way. Spending time together, just the three of us-it’s important.
I worry about writing this post because I know that there are people in the world who truly love all of the busy of life, especially life at the ages of my girls. And that’s totally cool and I understand that. But I also felt like I needed to put my truth into this space because I also know that there are plenty of people who don’t yearn for busy, especially at the ages of my girls-and I do feel like there is a bit of a pressure that, if we don’t do everything now, we won’t ever get to do it again. Which indeed may be true-but movie nights and game nights will be a thing of the past in a few short years as well.
Choose joy. Whatever that means to you. Choose it again and again.
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