Today I had to tell my girls that someone that we love died. My sister called to tell me she was sorry for my loss. And I cried a good bit this afternoon about it.
Nick said, "You would think that we actually knew this person!"
But, even though I have never had the pleasure of meeting Annette Funicello in person, I still knew her. And loved her. And will miss her.
I can't quite remember why I got obsessed with Annette in the first place. But we all know how I am about my obsessions, and I loved her fiercely for almost as long as I can remember.
I'm thinking that I probably first met her in Skippy peanut butter commercials. I'm positive that The Shaggy Dog was the first movie that I saw with her in it.
But I became obsessed somewhere around age 12, and I began loving beach party movies. I don't know why or how that happened, but it did, and Frankie and Annette were just the greatest things EVER.
And then I read A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, her autobiography, in 1994 when it came out. I have reread that book I think more than any other book in my life. I reread some of it last year, and I realized, like a bolt of lightning-this is where my parenting style came from. I could never really remember when or how I decided to be a stay-at-home mom, just that I had wanted to be for a long, long time. And then rereading some of the sections where she describes her family and her decision to halt her career to enjoy raising her three kids, I remembered where this idea had emerged from.
Of course, I didn't leave a career to be a mom. But I do love being a mom, and I cherish having had all of this time to really raise my own kids. Time flies so quickly, and I can't really believe that Felicity is going to school next fall, but I do know that no matter what, I was with them as much as I could be. That's not a jab against working moms-I am blessed to have been given the choice to stay home. But ultimately, for me, being at home was the best thing that I could do. I have enjoyed teaching my kids, being probably overly involved in their lives I'm sure, but for me, it's what I love to do.
Annette Funicello, as strange as it sounds, taught me that. She says (and I took so to heart) in her book that she didn't like how some parents act like parenthood is life in prison without parole. She says children don't ask to be born, and so if you are making the decision to become a parent, you are making a decision to do so for the rest of your life. She also says that she was always a parent first, and then after her children were grown, they chose to become her friends. I keep that piece of advice close when the girls are driving me crazy, when more than anything I just want to give in and say, okay, whatever, go ahead. I remember I am the parent, and I am getting one chance to help them to learn to make good choices.
And so I'm not just saying that I loved her, which I did. But she truly changed my life and made it better. I will love her always, to the moon and back.
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