Okay, here goes. I am under no illusions that anyone is actually interested in my thoughts-this is more of an exercise in writing for myself than anything else. I don't write anymore, which is sad in and of itself. I used to write so much I literally couldn't stop. In college I wrote that it was my cancer-this undeniable thing inside of me, forcing its way out of my fingers. And now I don't write anymore.
I don't do much of anything anymore, except raise my girls. I say that not begrudingly. They are happily my life for right now. I am the most contented I've ever been in my whole life right now, at this very moment. I live in the house I always wanted to live in, with a guy I love, raising two girls that are amazing and smart and beautiful and did I mention amazing? But then what? What do you do when you actually attain everything you ever wanted?
I'm not complaining. I'm not gloating. I'm just trying to find things that validate my life. I don't get a paycheck every week, so I have to find validation in the things that I do. When I clean my house, do the laundry, save money on groceries...that is my validation. I've learned the hard way not to let anything that the girls do be my validation. Their accomplishments have to be their own. Whenever I get up on my high horse about what a great mom I am, God swoops in and pushes me right off.
Mostly I think that I'm going to use this to talk about the books and movies that I share with the girls. Maybe some other stuff. I'll likely quit at some point, because I can't stand feeling like I am obliged to do something. We'll see...
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