“I am well in body, although considerably rumpled in spirit”-
oh, Anne girl, me too.
Life just now, today, feels heavy. Pressing. Dark.
When I lived all those years inside my own head- those years
in college when I only spoke to a handful of people and then those early years
of motherhood where my social circle mostly just included Nick, my sister, and
my parents- sometimes I long for that girl. She was lonely, yes- especially the
one in college- but she didn’t feel so much.
We have lived through our first breakup. And I am so very
proud of Betsy and how she handled herself- she was honest and brave and tried
her best to explain that she values the friendship that they created. My heart,
though, my heart was not created for such things. I truly adored her boyfriend,
and found him to be so polite and kind. I am proud of Betsy for understanding
that she needs to be honest about her feelings- she is so much braver than I
am.
That compounded with an unexpected death in a friend’s
family, along with the death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg- it’s all so much. (Most
people who know me well know that I love to read Supreme Court rulings and I
adore, honestly, all of the justices in one way or another.)
The original plan for today’s post was to be this fun post
about various podcasts and books I’ve been loving and then sharing my
spreadsheet for the Halloween movie schedule.
I contemplated just not posting anything at all, but spreadsheets-
they truly are my love language.
For now, that will have to do.
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